Tag Archives: Tina Fey

Why Friends Can Ask For Gold But Strangers Can’t

Most artists and even entrepreneurs will start off a message to a new contact with a “Check out my new thing!” There’s little connection point here. They may be just a new follower to one social page or have added a new contact on a media channel. This isn’t a true connection, it’s just a mouse click. We need to understand how real connections are made and how they work so that our communication gets the best results. It’s the true difference between our friends and strangers on our social pages.

Image from GraphicStock

Image from GraphicStock

The Real Difference Between Who We Know And The Strangers We Like

Your friends are people you know, folks you trust, those you have some sort of history with. At least that’s what friends used to be. Thanks to social media, we have a lot of strangers who are called our “friends” on Facebook and Twitter. How many “friends” on your social channels do you truly know, and how many are legitimately strangers?

It’s the same for me too. There are several people who follow me on Twitter and Facebook that I don’t have a personal relationship with. That’s ok. It’s a connection that could turn into a relationship or friendship in real terms. It’s a starting place. However, it’s important for us to not confuse the difference.

Friendly People Are Best Sellers Without Having To Sell Anything

The people who present themselves as down-to-earth and relatable are the best at getting others to join into what they’re doing or what they’ve created right away. These people excel at not having to go through a detailed process of getting your attention and selling you something in order to get you to sign up for what they’re talking about. However, the number of prominent people with this skill are short. Oprah Winfrey, Jon Stewart, Steve Harvey and Tina Fey all come across as people like this.

You know what? You rarely see these people trying to sell something. They don’t have to. They’re interested in other people’s stories, and they tie those stories into their own. They have conversations and share them with the world. Then, sometimes, those stories will have a price tag that we have to pay to get to hear them.

We gladly fork out the dollars to make that happen. We want to connect with their story too. We have a relationship with them via the presentation of their stories. They didn’t ask us directly to do something for them, such as “buy my book because I want it to be on the best sellers list” or similar.

However it’s too easy for us (yes me too) to make an online connection with someone who can take our work to new levels and instantly try to ask for gold. What this new contact (“friend”) has is the opportunity for gold for our satchels, and we too often try to jump the gun in hunting for the gold instead of farming for it.

brian-bloom-seth-godin-in-greenFarming for growth is really the work we need to be devoting our energies too. It’s what Seth Godin told me about how success really works:

“What happens instead is you find 10 people, just 10 people, who care so much about what you do they tell someone else. You find 20 people, just 20 people, who would miss you if you were gone. Then you repeat it, and you repeat it and you repeat it. The next thing you know is three years later you’re an overnight sensation. That it’s believing that ‘the grass is always greener’ that you get in trouble. You’ve already got all the grass you’re going to get. What you need to do is farm it, not go hunting.”  (read more on this principle here)

Connection That Creates Real Growth Begins Here

Real growth starts by making a true connection, building a dialogue, learning about the individual, and deciding that connection with this individual is important. That connection might turn on a light bulb that shines bright into a world you don’t know about, and creates some big opportunities for growth. That connection might hold a series of keys that unlock doors you don’t know about to lead you to all sorts of great places. That connection could create any number of great opportunities for you that you’d never have without it.

Yet it starts by doing so much more than clicking a “Follow” button and then sending a message to a stranger.

Strangers can’t ask for gold. Strangers can’t even sell candy well. When we were kids and our parents told us “If a stranger tries to sell you candy, run away and tell someone.” How many strangers try to sell you candy every day? Musicians, how much candy are you trying to pawn off on someone you don’t know. Start a conversation, build a dialogue and see where that connection takes you. They may offer you gold without you having to ask for it.

This growth concept and these principles are explained in greater detail and put to work in growing your audience in the Indie Radio Promotion Course. Sign up here to get started now.