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Be First Blog

Why The Question Is More Important Than The Answer

I’ve been growing in a powerful life lesson for the past year. It’s simply this: Learn how to sit inside the question instead of rigorously pursuing the answer.

This flies in the face of so much of my cultural, religious, and family upbringing and development.

It’s also counter to 99.9% of entrepreneurial business and modern business strategy/tactics.

Think about it

If we were taught how to sit inside the question, the How-To guides, books, blogs, and posts would fall flat. We wouldn’t have an obsession with trying to solve the puzzle completely all at once.

We’d be connected to wisdom and be in a more fluid state of evolution in excellence and becoming the best version of ourselves much faster.

Instead, nowadays we’re consumed with trying to figure it all out and have no more questions. And to do it all in 5 seconds.

Figuring it all out instantly is not how life actually works, is it?

Is the answer we think we want the most important thing?

When we learn to sit in the question, we can gain so much more than just an answer. Because the answer to the question about the problems of life is always changing.

They change day to day and moment by moment. The situation could be different tomorrow than today. It could even change in the next 20 minutes.

That’s why separating yourself from the question in favor of only chasing the answer will keep you frustrated.

And feeling like you’re lost. And likely will always feel lost.

It seems that maybe the reason Jesus communicated with parables, stories, and metaphors is that WISDOM speaks so clearly in those ways.

And WISDOM does such amazing work in being able to cut through the clutter straight to the heart, mind, and spirit of the real issue.

So that we as the listener can discern exactly what we need at the moment for the part of the question that we’re wrestling with.

No wonder Christ said, “To those who have ears, let them hear.”

Do you have ears that can sit with the question, that can ask more of the question than just what the answer is, but build a relationship and interaction with the question to gain even more guidance, direction, clarity, and success?

I’m working on having these kinds of ears and this kind of pursuit. The answer will evolve. My aim is to evolve and grow as well.

And also to not settle for the first answer that I think I’ve arrived at.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

One big life lesson from the past year

When was the last time you explored what your feelings are trying to say to you? Or do you just feel them and move on?

I’ve been working with some amazing teachers and coaches over the past 2 years. They’ve taught me that our emotions can guide us into knowing ourselves more fully.

And our feelings also help us continue to cultivate our own self-Love, including the painful or negative feelings.

This is hard for many people because we’re taught and conditioned to suppress negative emotions. Or react to situations and circumstances that make us feel stressed, angry, resentful, disgusted, or anxious.

We’re not taught how to treat our emotions with respect and care. Which is why it’s so hard for many people to manage their mental and emotional health. But it turns out that when we treat ourselves with kindness, and sit with our emotions, transformation and healing takes place.

Here’s what I’ve learned

Observe yourself & your feelings. Embrace them, even the painful ones.
Let yourself feel their depths. Explore them. Dig beneath them. What’s the feeling behind the feeling?
If it’s desire, what is the desire behind the desire?
If it’s fear, what is the fear behind the fear?
Dig in and see what root it’s going to inside you.
Give yourself space and the grace to explore your emotions and heart. It’s here where you see what’s directing your unconscious steps, wants, and needs.
And with this clarity, you can see what to surrender to God, what to ask for help with, and how to send Love to yourself in more precise ways.
No matter what, send Love to yourself. Embrace yourself. Never reject yourself, even if what you feel is shameful or painful.
Because you are worth fighting for. So choose yourself.

Want to learn how to incorporate this wisdom in your life? How can you sit with your feelings to grow in your understanding of yourself and practice more self-Love?

One way is by working directly with me through coaching. See more about what that looks like here.

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