If you’re a coach or in the service industry and you want to improve your results, let me ask you a question. What does it feel like to be a deer during hunting season?
Wait…what are you talking about dude?
Maybe you’ve had this experience…
You receive a notification from someone who wants to connect
This is primarily the case on social media platforms (particularly LinkedIn and Facebook) where professionals want to improve their results in gaining clients.
Maybe you receive a message from someone whose profile says they serve coaches. They say they saw your profile and love your work and want to add you to their network.
Once you agree, you are immediately bombarded with a series of messages that don’t talk about you or what you do. The entirety of the lengthy message is about how they work with coaches to fill up your calendar with “qualified leads” and 10x your business.
Someone out there is teaching these people this stuff…
and it’s SOOOO ANNOYING!!!
Here’s something I learned from the great Dale Carnegie that has proven true in every business and industry I’ve worked in (which is at least 5 now):
“You gain more friends in two months showing an interest in other people than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you.”
The book How To Win Friends And Influence People is just as relevant today (if not more considering most people ignore basic relationship-building tools to go for the instant win) as it was in the 1930s when it was written.
For those who say that relationship building doesn’t pay the bills, you’re not really utilizing relationships in the best ways.
It was Seth Godin who told me in 2016 that continuing to serve a small group of people over and over to the point that they can’t live without you turns into that number increasing exponentially.
The headhunters in the coaching business will tell a different story.
They’ll show how much money they make in a month and how they tripled their income in just 30 days.
Again, it’s all about the numbers when this comes out. But they’re looking at the wrong set of numbers.
Because coaching is about transforming LIVES and PEOPLE, not just your bank account.
And to make this kind of difference, one where both coach and client benefit, you have to approach this from a different kind of energy.
How do I know how to improve your results in this way?
Well, aside from writing a book on how to connect with leaders in media, industry, and influencers (geared towards musicians and creatives but it works for anyone) titled The DIY Musician’s Radio Handbook, I’ve succeeded at connecting with leaders in a variety of industries using time-test relationship building strategies.
Not to name drop, but for verification’s sake these leaders include Kevin Kelly, Seth Godin, Michael Zipursky, Rachael Yamagata, Benji Rogers, Juan Williams, Liza Wisner, Brandon Gaille and others. Hear the conversations I’ve had with these fine folks and more here.
In a past professional life, I was “The Relationship Guy” in the indie/unsigned music world. Then I took that and extended out to marketing and entrepreneurship.
If you make people feel like they’re a deer in the forest being hunted, it’s not going to create the outcome you want.
Want people to talk with you, trust you, and work with you?
Try something different. Here are some quick tips:
Take the time to get to know their work.
Actually read something they’ve published. See what resonates.
Then send them a message and talk about how it impacted you.
This shows genuine interest.
Ask questions to see how you can be of SERVICE.
That’s right. Service. Not sales.
No one likes to be sold to.
Everyone wants to be served.
That subtle difference actually makes the difference.
Plus, when you show that you’re more interested in helping people than trying to get paid, you create a deeper connection based on trust and faith in each other. You instantly improve your results as connecting with the right people you want to serve..
It’s how to win as a coach and how your clients win too.
Which ends up being mutually beneficial for all parties. Who doesn’t want that?
Learning how to grow in connections with others begins with how you connect with your true Self. Maybe you don’t know yourself, or you’ve been chasing other people trying to get somewhere that you’re not. Learn how to cultivate connection within using the Growth Farming method and grow with our community here.